Help! My Teenager Doesn't Want the COVID Shot

Talking to Your Teen About the COVID Vaccine

Since the FDA extended the Pfizer EUA, parents and pediatricians everywhere have been gearing up to get teens COVID vaccinated. Vaccination is the only way to directly protect children from COVID-19, and vaccinating children is a critical step to ending the Pandemic.

More practically, getting our kids vaccinated is one way off the risk-benefit-mental-merry-go-round that has exhausted us this past year. We now have a way to confidently let our kids return to the activities they need and love. 

In my pediatric practice, the vast majority of parents want their children vaccinated against COVID-19. But, what if your teen doesn’t want the vaccine? How do you talk about it? And what can you do to help your teen to understand the importance of this vaccination?  

TL;DR: Kids don’t like getting shots because they don’t like getting shots. Teens also don’t want to hand in homework or wear their seatbelts. As a result, we, as parents, step forward to guide decisions and enforce rules focused on our child’s health and safety.

Of course, we want to answer our teens’ questions about the vaccine and hope they would be eager to get this protection. But at the end of the day, every parent has the right to consent for any vaccine on behalf of their children based on the understanding of the risks and benefits.

Here are some tips to help guide your discussion and process.

1. Ask questions first. Kids are smart, and they have been listening. In addition, like all of us, their choice of media has been shaping their understanding of the pandemic. By taking the time to understand how your teen has interpreted their role in this story, you will be able to frame the decision to vaccinate more effectively.

   • What have you heard about the vaccine? 

   • What are you worried about? 

   • Why does the thought of getting vaccinated make you feel this way?

   • Where did you hear about [insert concern here]?

   • Why is that important to you? 

   Your teen’s answers will provide the building blocks for productive discussion. Acknowledge and validate their concerns, while controlling your emotions as you listen. Show your teen know they are being heard by responding with language that demonstrates active listening. And be prepared to take a break after gathering information. Although this decision may feel urgent, you have time to divide the conversation into a few interactions. Shorter chats may feel less confrontational and be more constructive. 

   

2. Be ready to myth-bust. At baseline, surveys have shown teenagers do not have a robust understanding of vaccines or vaccine-preventable diseases, making evaluation of scientific research difficult. In addition, if your teen is on social media, they are being exposed to anti-vaccine messaging. The combination of under-developed critical thinking areas with highly active emotional areas could result in teen brains more susceptible to anti-vaccine propaganda.

   Be prepared to correct misinformation and provide answers. Help your teen understand that the COVID vaccine has been diligently tested, it works and it is safe. Answer questions honestly – leaning into your trusted experts when you need help. And focus your answers on the questions asked, not what you think the underlying concern may be. Need a few sources to help?

   • Answers for Teens About the COVID Vaccine from OSF Healthcare

   • COVID Vaccine Q&A from the Vaccine Education Center at CHOP

   • How Vaccines Work video from Boston Children’s Hospital (younger kids)

   • Scroll some pro-science content creators on TikTok: @dr.noc, @hotvickkrishna, and @austinchangmd.

3. Keep the benefits of vaccination teen-centric. Although we’d love to think that a plea of compassion, selflessness, and empathy would activate vaccine acceptance, this type of message rarely works. And remember that teens have self-centered brains, incapable of understanding the long-term implications of deadly disease. As a result, monologues of long-term benefit, protecting the most vulnerable, and global pandemic resolution will be less effective than, say, visions of an all-day pass at Dave and Buster’s after getting the shot.

   Talk about the things your teen will be able to do after getting vaccinated. Sleepovers with vaccinated friends? Camps without masks? Overnights at grandma's or hanging with the cousins? Inviting [insert best friend] over to watch a movie? Hosting a pizza party? Not having to quarantine after being exposed, so no more missing out on sports practices or games? Travel?

   Acknowledge that kids all over the world have also been living through the pandemic, and getting vaccinated is one way out for everyone. Stress being part of the solution and part of history. 

   Finally, remind your teen about all the kids who volunteered in the vaccine trials. Thousands of other kids rolled up their sleeves first, to ensure the vaccine was safe and effective for them. Your teen is not the first to get the vaccine, and they will not be the last. 

4. Explain your role. As a parent, our job is to keep our children safe and healthy. Evaluating and accessing medical care on behalf of our kids is part of this responsibility. Let your teen know that you have done your best to address their concerns, and you feel confident in the decision. You may want to share how you have asked their pediatrician about the vaccine, and he/she feels like this is an important shot for their health. Meanwhile, don’t forget to share your story. This is a great opportunity to share how you made your personal decision to be vaccinated, and how you want the same opportunity for them. 

5. Offer comfort solutions. The most common reason teenagers don’t want a shot has nothing to do with the medication itself. Kids don’t want shots because they don’t like getting shots. Shot phobia is very real, but most kids can overcome this brief discomfort with simple interventions. Ask your doctor if there are ways to make the vaccine process quick and easy. 

   Want to know the evidence-based ways to decrease pain and anxiety associated with injections? Be sure you are a subscriber and stay tuned!

6. Make the appointment. Adults can understand the long-term consequence of an uncontrolled pandemic, the safety and efficacy data of the COVID vaccine, and the role of childhood vaccination to end this global crisis. Although we want to do our best to empower our kids to assent to the vaccine, it is our right and privilege as their parent to consent for vaccination on behalf of our children.

   If you make the appointment, let your teen know the date. This provides a deadline to the discussion while allowing your teen ample time to mentally prepare. Most importantly, be confident in your choice to protect your teen from COVID-19.

Teens deserve to be involved in the medical decision-making process. Our role as parent-leaders is to walk with our children through the experience. This is not only necessary for the decision at hand, but may influence their vaccine acceptance as an adult and as a future parent. So, be honest. Be patient. Be prepared. 

And, as always, lean into your pediatrician for help and guidance when you need it. We are always here to help. 

More soon, 

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P.S. - The meeting with the FDA, CDC, vaccine experts and Pfizer representatives is TODAY and open to the public. Here’s the agenda and a link to the virtual meeting. 

Can’t make it? I’ll be breaking all the data down LIVE on Insta with Dr. Nicole during Masks Off Live this Sunday, May 16th at 11 am CST. Bring your mimosas and settle in for some science.